Oops

My last blog was a draft I was working on and I had it all perfected, and then I published it, and it was still the lame old draft and the revised version is lost forever. I am mortified that such thoughts were out there for a few days. Thank God for "Delete".

I am done politicizing except to say that I am SO glad Teresa Heinz Kerry says the things she does. It might help me out a little. I know we all say things we regret or are misunderstood, but COME ON, what kind of a real job is it to inherit billions of dollars? Don't talk smack about Laura if you can't take it, girl. I hope it starts a grassroots housewives movement to start demanding salaries from our husbands. I heard on TV this week that some women make their husbands pay them each week for staying home with the kids. I like this idea in some ways, but I also think that if my husband paid me for working around the house we would be even poorer than we are, and that isn't the point of me staying home in the first place.

I have been trying to learn how to be cheap, though. I actually bought a shirt for $12 the other day and then as I was walking away with my purchase decided I didn't really need it after all and that $12 was indeed a lot of money just to throw away on a shirt that wasn't a necessity, so I waited in line for 25 minutes with two kids to immediately return it. Now, that may be more neurotic than cheap, but nonetheless, I am tryin'.

My friend Carla Barnhill wrote a fantastic book about motherhood and the myths associated with that role, especially in regards to spirituality. The book has really helped me process many of my frustrations not only with mothering, but also with the church's response to mothering and the stay at home/work outside the home issue. She does a great job of looking at the cultural ways motherhood has been influenced, and how this has also affected the church's notions about what a "godly" mother is. Anyway, I have loved it and am almost finished and I write this paragraph not only as props to Carla but to let everyone know that the book is also inspiring me to be more financially responsible. She shares a few stories about her family and their choices with regards to budgeting and cutting corners, and although I haven't purchased the book that she claims has been beneficial (The Tightwad Gazette), I plan to. I think this is an area for Carla to write her next book. I was brought up not to discuss money, salaries, etc...but what good does that do any of us? I have realized that I can learn a lot from those around me in terms of how they spend/save/budget their money, and it seems that there should be some way other than to read books in the FINANCE section of Barnes and Noble to help one gain financial wisdom. I think a combination of books and maybe a "collective community" of people willing to share about this topic might be beneficial for me. I have improved greatly on our ridiculous grocery bill by cooking "refrigerator enchiladas" quite often. The recipe is really simple: take everything leftover in the fridge, roll it up into tortillas (corn or flour will do), smother it in some cheese, and bake it until done. This has proven to be that miracle dinner when there is only $1 in the checking account and the dinner hour rolls around. It is also amazing how good anything tastes with a little cheese melted on top.

For any of you growing concerned, I am exaggerating about the $1 in the checking account, but it makes me feel more heroic in my cooking creativity. However, if you feel compelled to mail money to Martha Stewart, please refrain from doing so and send it my way.

I am trying to decide whether or not I want to finish my english/lit. degree, but switch the emphasis to creative writing, or whether or not I want to learn a trade specific to something I care about--like cosmetology or speech writing. Who knows--maybe I can market myself as a speech writer who will style hair to coincide with the vibe of the speech. You know, spiky angry hair for a real hell-raiser, and a gentle combover for a more vulnerable approach. By the time George P. runs for office (he IS the best looking of the bunch), perhaps I will be able to put my skills to good use.

All Pooped Out

I hate to blog about feces, but since that is what I am knee deep into right now, I got nuthin' else. Eva now has contracted the dreaded virus that has waylaid Eli for 7 days and counting. I am just holding my breath for my own intestinal health. Nothing happening yet, but I know it might still be ahead of me.

So, between changing dirty diapers and wiping up poop from the bathroom carpet and toilet (this whole thing has reiterated my disgust for any home builder who sees fit to put carpet in bathrooms--how could this ever have been a good idea?), I am all pooped out.

Pondering the Reasons for my Insanity This Evening...

1. We live with our house backing up to a street which means loud mufflers at all times of the day. I thought there was some kind of law against it, but apparently not for middle aged men on motorcycles.

2. Beyond the street, we live behind the dog from hell, which judging from his bark, must be a 200 pounder. Of course, he barks incessantly at all times of the day and usually right when I am getting ready to try to take a nap or go to sleep for the night. I loved my husband so much more when he got up out of bed the other night, drove in his car to pinpoint the exact house, and then called animal control only to be met by an answering machine. Apparently animal control is only available to pass out warnings when the dog isn't barking. The "control" part of the name is really just a joke.

3. My poor son has been hit with some sort of Montezuma's Revenge. Let's just say that Montezuma has been "hitting" all day and all night for 5 days and counting. Thus, when I am not pulling toilet patrol and the resulting laundry patrol, I am onto #4.

4. Eva, who will be one on Thursday, is still not interested in sleeping. Why doesn't she realize the benefit that sleep has for all of us, especially me? It is God's cruel joke that for 9 months leading up to her birth I slept horribly due to peeing, a growing girth, and all other sorts of misery, and now, one year later, I still sleep horribly. One year plus 9 months equals 18 months of "When will I ever sleep for more than 3 hours straight again?"

5. My Mom gets home from work, the grocery store, wherever, and runs into the house and hits the page button for the phone immediately. I do not know why this occurs, but it is strange and unusual. If she were expecting a call from someone important, I could maybe understand her desire to locate the phone immediately, but since this has occurred every day for 4 months straight, and even many times per day, I don't think Publisher's Clearinghouse is going to call.

6. Both Dan and his 16 year old son Tyler are cursed with the "I lost it" disorder. Dan consistently leaves his things in hotel rooms, on the roof of his car, at restaurants, at wedding receptions, etc... Tyler has now followed suit and informed me this weekend when he was at my house that he can't find his wallet that has $250 cash in it, some of which he owes me. I try to be understanding, but this particular disorder is getting very costly.

Those are my top 6 this evening. I could think of more, but I am too tired, and I fear Montezuma may not be done revenging whatever is left of this ol' gal.