My week as a Nut in a Nutshell...

Because my life revolves heavily around food, I made chicken piccata this week and it was YUMMY.

I also drove myself to the Emergency Room, paid a $200 co-pay, only to be told that my hacking/lung pain was probably just a virus. I was convinced I had some deathly pneumonia or lung infection, but alas, I will be okay.

I took Eva to the zoo for the first time and she liked the bears and the ducks and the carousel. Though to show her gratitude she came home and pooped on the rug in the bathroom. If anyone can tell me why carpet in a bathroom is a good idea, I would be shocked.

I lost my wallet and my keys all in the same week. I recovered them both after long moments of worry.

I watched Terri Schiavo die (at least the coverage of it) as well as the Pope.

I watched the hydrangeas my Dad gave me for Easter droop and wilt and then spring miraculously back to life after a little water.

I wish humans were more like hydrangeas and could be fixed with a little water and sunlight.

For now, I will be content to rest and drink hot tea and lament that at the first hints of spring all around me, I will be in bed, listening to the lullaby of dogs barking and cars whizzing by.

And, before I lay my sick bottominski in bed, I realize the Terri Schiavo case is complicated on many levels, but LIFE SUPPORT is not the same thing as a FEEDING TUBE. The newspaper keeps writing she was on "life support" for 15 years, and I find that to be disingenuous reporting. Just as we all need food and water to survive, so did she. I still cannot believe she hung on for 13 days with no food or drop of water. That is miraculous. I doubt I would make it that long and I have lotsa Big Macs on these thighs as storage, just in case. I wish the whole issue didn't make it to the court level and have to be so polluted politically. Although, I do feel it was a human rights violation to starve someone to death. If I did that to a dog (and there are a few that would tempt me), I would be in prison.

No one will ever really know what Terri Schiavo wanted. The line between life and death is too fragile sometimes for me to wrestle with. I know she was vegetative and "severely retarded"/unresponsive. But, she was breathing on her own. Her heart was beating on its own. I used to work with severely "retarded" children. They were unresponsive, lethargic, wearing helmets, diapers, etc... One of them slept in a cage at his house because he thrashed around when he slept and had no memory, recollection, or control of himself. You could scream in their faces and they would gaze off into the distance. They couldn't walk, talk, respond, etc... I cannot judge whether their lives mattered or contributed anything to this world. Terri Schiavo surely didn't contribute much or have any quality of life, but is that a criteria for taking life? I would feel differently if extreme measure were being used--a respirator, ventilator, etc.... but the woman only needed sustenance. As do I. Doctors maintain that she felt nothing as she slipped deeper and deeper into eternity, and that is probably true, however, I think of the cruelty and barbarism of it and it saddens me. I know Amnesty International would be on a red eye flight to Sudan or Siberia if such cruelty occurred to one who could not speak for themselves. Yet, here in America, it becomes a "conservative" issue. I hate that more than I can say. Since when does every frickin' thing have to be politicized? Why were people so impressed Jesse Jackson crossed "party lines" to be involved? The Terri Schiavo case has proved to me that we as Americans are approaching more and more situations politically. Dear God, please let those who love you approach situations from a perspective of mercy, benevolence, and never ending compassion.

I don't know the black and white answer about Terri Schiavo, but I do know that her life has mattered significantly.

I rejoice over her restored body and the feast she surely partook of. I have been deeply burdened this week for her husband, her family, and all those who knew and loved her. I pray they may find comfort and peace after a devastating journey that led to a tragic end.

Though our end is not death, and I believe Terri knew that. It seems she was a woman of faith and she waited a long time to go home.

Dance, Terri, dance. You are free.