Ahnold, I'm back...

It has been a while since I have blogged. Depression, fighting with Dan, and busyness have all played a role, but I think some of the fog has lifted and I feel like hitting the keyboard again to write down whatever the heck comes to mind. Today, I am thinking about...

The Republican National Convention--Yes, feel good rhetoric is characteristic of politics in general, but I have been impressed thus far to the point one can be impressed by such an event. I disagree that the Republicans are trying to pass as moderates or anything else--I think they are being true to the party, if not for a bit of a Reagan-esque slant, which is more than fine with me. I can't wait until tonight...Michael Reagan, Zell Miller (yeah, a Dem!) ...should be interesting. Though I may not agree with everything W does or says, I really respect him for taking a stand and then sticking to it--and for talking like a good ol' Texas cowboy. He is SO not a politician in the polished, Clintonian sense of the word. John Kerry has been so all over the map during his entire political career, and it is difficult for me to really see him nailing down any issue. I detest panderers. I detest poll-following politics. He is a walking contradiction. He is falling behind in the polls, although I think polls are worthless. And, I don't know what to think of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, however my Dad fought in Vietnam when Kerry did, and he told me a fascinating story of his friend who scratched his arm on a barbed wire fence during a battle and was thus awarded a Purple Heart. He told me the government was practically throwing Purple Hearts at soldiers. I will say that any person who serves in the military earns my instant respect, but I do think there is massive room for elaboration about that time served. I applaud the freedom in this country for people to voice their opinions about Kerry's service in Vietnam or even reprobate Michael Moore's film with all its propagandic editing.

On a different note entirely...I am thinking today about Saturday night.

Dan and I went to the Prince concert, which was okay...honestly, I thought it would be amazing, but it was just solidly good. The part that was more noteworthy was the fight that Dan and I had on the way home where we both pretty much admitted we were hanging on to our relationship by a thread and that thread was pretty much the vow we took and our children (worthy threads, mind you, but nonetheless still saddening). It was a deeply tragic conversation because we both finally voiced how difficult things have been and how despairing we have felt. It has turned out to be a cathartic moment for us, because I think we have both been moved towards some real change in our relationship and some tangible growth and healing. Only time will tell, but I am hoping that Saturday night was the breaking point we needed for our heart and guts to spill open and for us to have nothing left but our raw, bleeding pain that can only heal now that the blood has spilled freely.