I know I have good friends when...
...I feel so loved by the responses and encouragement to my blog yesterday. I think I sometimes blog and just "put it out there" and don't really think anyone will read it (I know, contradictory to the point of blogging), but then I am reminded that people do read my thoughts, comment on them, and encourage me in my life in ways that make me most thankful.
I do think that Saturday was this "purging" experience for us. We put it all out on the table--how bad it really is, how miserable we have been, and how we want things to change. Much of our conversation hurt deeply, but it was so freeing to finally SAY what has been eating away at our hearts. We have already been through a 4 month separation a few years ago, and we realize that we do not want to go down that road again--that there is so much to salvage, repair, cling to, and ultimately love.
In many ways, I am angry that we left Minnesota--it was very idyllic for me--quiet culdesac, amazing church community, great school for Eli, friends who loved us...and so it feels like we left a place that was peaceful, healing (it was where we had Eva and learned for the first time to be a family without our other "families" being involved), and restful and went into a place that was chaotic, noisy, and crazy. Our neighborhood out here is loud--our house backs up to a street, our neighbors are so close to us we often feel we are living in an apartment complex, and the emotional noise in our lives matches the external. Someone told me recently I needed to "get over the past," but I do not think that is fair to my heart or to the 2 years I spent in a place I loved. I DO need to try to figure out how to remember the past but feel propelled into the next chapter of my life which does not include the many things I loved about Minnesota. What do I love about Colorado?
-mountains
-mountains
-mountains
-limited mosquitoes
-mountains
-mountains
-mountains
At least it is a start...and of course, if Colorado goes W in the election and Minnesota doesn't, I can add one more thing to the list.
1 Comments:
On the Republican front, there is no help for you. We can only pray. On the personal front, don't forget that phones worked b4 the internet. You should call sometime so no limits are put onto the conversation by time, lack of desire to type, and a public forum. In the meantime, glad you are writing again. All our love to you both.
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